You Can't Help Who You Love
by ballistics belle
Summary: baby, you how this job gets sometimes. I never know when I’m gonna get a break.’ She wanted to believe him, but damn was it getting harder every night she alone.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I know that I haven't posted in a really long time, but real life sucks right now. It's the end of the school year which means that I have no life or time so my writing as unfortunately taken a back seat to everything else. Anyways, this is just a song fic that I've wanted to do for awhile now. Let me know what you think.

_Its one am, he's still not in, you wonder when enough's enough. 'Cause this ain't new, but what do you do, when you can't help who you love.-Garth Brooks, You Can't Help Who You Love. _

Calleigh had learned in their first year of marriage that watching the red numbers glare back at her from the clock never made him come home any sooner. In fact, it only seemed to make time go by slower.

But now, five years and two kids later, she found herself staring at the clock more and more, hopelessly willing time to pass when he was away and begging it to stop when he finally did return.

Tonight was one of the worst. A storm worthy of a hurricane brewed outside of the bedroom window. The night sky flashed frantically between pitch black and bright white as if it couldn't make up its mind while rain pounded against the window in an almost deafening clatter.

Four year old Audrey had long since abandoned her big girl bed and was spooned comfortably against her mother, while her new baby brother, Jack, whined softly in his basinet next to the bed.

Calleigh gently stroked the little girl's hair with one hand and used the other to slowly rock the basinet. Even if she had wanted to, she couldn't sleep. Not when she knew her husband was out there in this weather.

The lack of sleep didn't bother her though. Between Jack's three am feedings and her worrying about Jake, she rarely ever slept anymore than two, maybe three hours a night. She never complained about it though. This was a life she had chosen to lead.

The clock read quarter to two when the panic began to set in. Jake was notorious for being late, but he always called. But lately, he'd begun to change. When she confronted him about it, he told her it was work. He was getting ready for a big assignment, and 'baby, you how this job gets sometimes. I never know when I'm gonna get a break.' She wanted to believe him, but damn was it getting harder every night she alone.

Carefully, she reached over her daughter and grabbed the phone from her bedside table. Immediately her fingers began to dial the familiar number. It went straight to voice mail. She groaned. The weather had the cell reception all messed up, so she couldn't even call to make sure he was alright.

She was about to toss the phone away when she had a crazy idea. She dialed a different but just as familiar a number and prayed that he'd come through for her like he always had in the past.

The phone rang and rang and with no answer and she was just about to hang up when she heard him.

"Hello?"

A/N: Who did she call? Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Well, here's the next part. I know that it might not be what some people wanted, but for anyone who's ever read any of my other stuff, this really isn't a surprise, is it?

_So you drive to town, and you ask around, scared of what you're thinking of. Has he been hurt? Has he been with her? 'Cause you can't help who you love.-Garth Brooks, You Can't Help Who You Love._

"Hello?"

"Horatio, its Calleigh." She whispered so that she wouldn't wake up the kids.

"Cal, what's wrong?" He questioned, not bothering to hide his concern for his friend. No one calls at 2am to catch up. Calleigh listened for some kind of gruffness in his voice to let her know if she had woken him or not, but his voice was clear. Tired, but clear.

"I, uh,…Do you know where Jake is by any chance? I haven't heard from him and frankly, I'm a little worried." She asked, slightly embarrassed.

Horatio wasn't Jake's biggest fan but he was one of her closest friends and someone she could always count on. He didn't answer right away and Calleigh's stomach did flip flops as all the possibilities ran through her head.

"Well, I talked to him this afternoon and he told me that he was pulling a double." He finally replied, sounding a little confused.

Calleigh closed her eyes. Whenever Jake wanted to hide what he was really doing, he hid behind work, using it as his excuse. A few tears began to burn her eyes as the realization set in. He was doing it again.

"You know what? He must have told me and it just completely slipped my mind. Life's just been so crazy lately with the new baby." She lied, but her tear filled voice failed her.

"Cal, are you okay?" He asked, not really believing her.

"I'm fine. It's just my damn hormones. Listen, I got to go. I think I hear him coming in right now. But thanks, Handsome." She lied again.

"No problem, Cal. I'm always here for you."

"I know." She choked out. The two hung up and Calleigh threw the phone down on the empty side of the bed as tears rolled silently down her cheeks.

Damn him and his inability to change his ways, but damn herself for putting herself through this. She knew that the only person Jake Berkeley cared about was Jake Berkeley and that meant that he was going to do what he wanted, when he wanted and not care about the consequences that may come and having a wife and two kids was not going to change him.

Pulling Audrey closer to her, Calleigh quietly cried herself to sleep.

Jake never came home that night.


End file.
